Also known as: Skin cancer
Mr. Warner is a repeat patient who has developed melanomas from excessive sun exposure. Dr. Cox berates him for his continued sun-worshipping behavior and prescribes lifestyle changes including wearing a large floppy hat.
Ms. Goldman, a 25-year-old patient, presents with venous stasis ulcers related to her obesity. Dr. Kelso diagnoses her and attempts to counsel her on lifestyle modifications, but she insists on gastric bypass surgery as a quick fix rather than doing the harder work of diet and exercise.
Based on Ms. Goldman's fasting glucose and triglyceride levels, Dr. Kelso suspects metabolic syndrome, a cluster of conditions associated with her obesity. This diagnosis is part of the central patient case that Dr. Kelso uses to deliver the episode's thematic message about taking responsibility rather than seeking easy fixes.
Also known as: Broken tailbone
Carla mentions in passing that she previously fractured her tailbone when she fell into the toilet after Turk forgot to put the seat down. This is referenced briefly as backstory to explain the toilet seat reminder note.